CHRISTMAS MOVIE REVIEW: Father Christmas is Back (2021)

Elizabeth Hurley's Fly AF But Can 't Save This Disastrous Holiday Flop

After passing on a chance to watch it the past two years following a trailer viewing I thought looked stupid, I gave in and watched “Father Christmas is Back” (2021) on Netflix. It stars Dr. Frazier Crane, Hugh Grant’s absolute smoke show/cougar ex and a bunch of others who’ve I’ve barely heard of and who cares, because quite frankly they brought nothing to the movie anyway. The plot revolves around four mostly unlikeable adult daughters getting together for Christmas even though it’s clear only one wants it, with everything thrown into chaos when their father, estranged from all over the past 27 years unexpectedly shows up.  Here’s my takes:

PROS: Nothing building through this movie suggested  a major twist/surprise was brewing towards the conclusion. There was, it was a game-changer and definitely caught me off guard so props for being able to surprise me. Also, while often annoying if not verging on cringy there were definitely good ole’ fashioned heartwarming Christmas movie sentiments as it wound down.

Also, I feel like James Christmas’ (much) younger girlfriend, Jackie was cast as a bimbo designed for the girls to hate yet it’s arguable she may have ultimately been the most likeable character in the movie.  Lastly, I always put plenty of stock in how Christmasy a movie feels---some often use the holiday as a prop, nothing more than a movie backdrop but in this case Christmas was a heavy focal point from the opening moments.

CONS: There’s plenty of accomplished actors in the cast yet chemistry was sorely lacking. You’ll be hard pressed to find someone more fond of a gorgeous Elizabeth Hurley than me, but she was awful as Joanna Christmas---her bitchiness came off as forced, as did youngest daughter’s Vicky’s whorish tendencies. Paulina’s obsession with the Beatles was corny if not pointless and Caroline is a mess that tries to keep everything together. Again, just nothing about any of them and their relationships/interactions felt organic.

The estranged father, James and Jackie appear cast as the film’s antagonists yet they’re only ones I end up even remotely rooting for. I mean, at one point I realize his bitch daughters have been the bigger problem throughout their 27-year estrangement than him, he’s completely got his shit together.

Also and again circling back to Hurley, there’s simply no way I buy her as Grammer’s eldest daughter, even if they explain he was just a teenager when having her. In real life he’s just 10 years her senior and looks it.  If they weren’t insistent on his girlfriend being ridiculously younger, Hurley would’ve fit better as his love interest, not someone who’s diapers he changed as a baby, for fuck’s sake.

There’s just so much more about this movie that sucks----from how quickly the girls forgave their father after he showed up to how they’re barely even mad at the one even more responsible for the lie they’ve spent most their life living, and especially to the family bar scene when they get on stage to sing Christmas karaoke songs—cringy and forced!

VERDICT/GRADE: Interesting twist aside this is an absolute flop of a movie. Matter of fact, it’s one huge Christmas shit bomb that unless you’re willing to sit through a movie to see how bad it can be, as I tend to do. I’d completely avoid this at all costs.  Grade: D